Now

this page is about what I'm up to right meow.

Reading: Frankenstein, or the Modern Prometheus.
Watching: Umineko no Naku Koro Ni Episode 8.
Writing: Drafting What Lies Beyond Love and Hate (a historical fiction, omegaverse fic).
Crafting: Slouchy Robin Beanie, Orange Slice Coasters, LaundryHamper.
Developing: Self-care resources, site manifesto.
Learning: Front-end web development.
Feeling: Comfortable.

January 5th, 2025

Wow, WOW! We actually made it. The celebration was so exciting. Nothing to complain about. I managed to write things I wanted to leave behind and share this opportunity with my family and burned all those papers with the mannequins on New Year's Day (the law-abiding pyromaniac in me was ecstatic). The food was delicious. I received a lovely dotted notebook. Despite having a severe toothache, I feel light.

Website-wise, I'm testing things behind the scenes like Kalechips' lisfauxgraphy code (take a look at the web dev commonplace notebook!). I drafted a shrine for Simoun. I'm working on What Lies Beyond Love and Hate (I'm increasingly invested), and making a list of creatives outside of web dev who have added some value to my life to add them to Links

On another topic, I finally took the leap to use extensions to keep myself accountable on what sites I spend the most time on my laptop. My phone has the Digital Wellbeing app and YourHour to limit the use of some apps. I wanted to bring that same mindfulness to my laptop. I am using Unhook and Superfocus. The former is specifically for YT, hiding sections like Shorts, Mixes, Recommended, and Live Chat. Superfocus tackles a wider range of addictive social media apps. At the moment, it hides my YT Feed which is such a crazy change. Now I just have the Subscriptions page to watch content. This is doing something to my brain I don't know how to express. I'm definitely spending less time on the site which I'm putting on other places that are more meaningful (like this site!), or checking out older content from people I follow.

Back to website stuff, I like having different things for the site to work on. Site Plans is divided into Structure, Design, Both, and Others so I have quite the breadth of things to tackle whenever I feel like and the site still feels "whole" (although the relative sizes are still screaming at me because the text looks HUGE on mobile but I dread CSS so I'm procrastinating hard on that). I decided to add the stuff I'm focusing one on the "Developing" section so I don't get overwhelmed/confused, haha.

December 16th, 2024

Been a few days home. The weekend was eventful, in a good way. Wondering whether to make a manifesto of sorts about the web design values I want to follow in this site. I have been wanting to add a lot of cute things to my site and I don't know from what point indie web stuff is inaccessible so I feel like I need a guide before making big changes to this site for the sake of aesthetics.

I'm working on crocheting Christmas presents with the scrap yarn I brought from my stash. I also redid a hand towel. Still need to make some bookmarks and I don't know what else after that.

Apart from developing this site, I have enough things to keep me mentally stimulated which is always a concern for me during the holidays. I'm heading to my last semester in college so there's some things I need to prepare for. Pre-prepare? Haha.

December 12th, 2024

The end of a college semester is such a strange time. I feel out of sorts those last few days.

I'm heading back home tomorrow for winter break. Lots of exciting things to come. My brother's birthday, family reunions, Christmas, New Years's, and possibly a trip within the trip.

I have been traveling a lot the past year and I have noticed how the day before I'm mostly... not present? Like my body is preparing for traveling (which is a stressful endeavor) and I don't feel like doing much. So I'm here, editing my website with two things left to pack.

I'm not sure if this last week I haven't felt compelled to get up because of the anxiety of finals and the trip, compared to the excitement of waking up and doing things I enjoy. I hope the feeling goes away once I don't have to stressed about missing a flight. This is where keeping up an analog commonplace notebook or a journal would help a lot. Just writing down whatever comes to mind declutters it. I found nice video about this actually by Rajiv Surendra.

Now that I think about it, this feeling does remind me of liminality. I just want to be home. I feel like I'm neither in my dorm as I start to pack nor am I at my parent's house. I felt this a lot during the summer when I was traveling all around Europe and a lot of days it was a struggle to function. Everything went just fine, barely missed trains and flights but I couldn't focus on doing anything "serious" when the biggest concern in my head was to catch that transport. This is a common experience? Why do I feel like I should be doing anything else? I'm asking too much for myself, clearly. I already became ahead of things. Ahhhhhh, is it a hustle mindset? *sigh*. I need some self-care. Thanks for reading this ramble. Looking forward to the holiday season for that good 30C and higher tropical heat.

Man, you know what? I'm going to work on the Crafts page and maybe that other story of the ocean-theme fish-loving boy. I have two stories I want to at least make a note that they are top of mind and gotta update that site plans! Aaaaand, done! Feeling much better! Note to self: make freestyle journaling a priority next year. I like to type!

November 29th, 2024

Happy not Thanksgiving everyone! Yesterday was super chaotic! How existential! One doesn't plan to have to face one's traumas and come out the other side rejuvenated. I'm so thankful that yesterday, I was able to accept a painful past situation and come out of it wiser.

I thought I would start with it first because I want to keep a record. What I learned yesterday seems like a nugget of wisdom that must be preserved and communicated. I believe people who share the label of HSP also struggle with self-worth in a world with palpable differences in sensory perception. To put it shortly, being a human is a constant struggle, to hold back reactionary instincts and behave in a constructive manner.

I'll close with a sample of the lesson I enlightened with yesterday, (wrote with "you" but more for myself, I know some people don't like to read those sort of statements,) "Your health is connected to the world around you. If you are unwell, if you perceive yourself has having less value than others, your relationships will be affected. People aren't better than you. You are as important, not anymore, not any less, than every other living thing in this world. So please, love yourself. Face everyday with a smile, and strive to become a person whom you will not regret at the end."

I'm considering renaming this page with journal/dairy or something that implies introspective content. It a semi-personal half-journal-half-diary loosely related to my projects. We'll see.

November 26th, 2024

Quick update because I didn't want to leave the previous one for long.

In a much better mental place mentally. I made a page about nature inspired art, a sort of commonplace about artists and their work blending art and science and inspired by other-than-human beings. So far, there's mostly music, technically of the ambient variety. I really like the genre. So that's what you're getting.

I also added my first fiction short story! Woohoo! You have not idea for how long it's been taking space in my brain. Too long!

I feel like I'm in that state where I'm letting go of things. Mental clutter is a real thing for me and having materialized those two products is so liberating. I want to keep up this momentum. The year is ending and because I have the habit of making a year in review, mental decluttering has been unconsciously rising as a priority.

To close this update, I'm trying to up my book annotation game and looking for sticky tabs. When social media starts showing kind of the same trending content and it looks similar, I feel like that's the stopping point and it's time to look over all the information and make choices. Unfortunately, I couldn't find an "environmentally-friendly" option of these tabs so I'll go by accessibility and at least support my local bookstore who carry this item.

November 15th, 2024

Where did October go?! It feels like I'm catching up with life and the lack of motivation and excitement has doubled.

I feel like what I want to do is so alien to my responsibilities as a students that I cannot force any effort on coursework.

I'm just in that stage of my life where I know what I want to do and putting effort into anything else feels like a complete waste of time. Sorry for the venting. This is such an odd state of mind to be. I'll keep myself in check.

As for the site, because I have been reading and writing these past couple of days, I will focus on adding written content in the Writing section. For starters, I will share some book notes from Scum Villain's Self-Saving System. I read the unofficial version before the official English release and got my hands on the first two volumes. I want to dissect this story because it's one of my favorite stories from the author.

October 28th, 2024

Decided to take the site's ethos to a more minimalistic, writting-centered approach. I'm working on a new layout with light and dark modes.

October 19, 2024

This past couple of weeks have been hectic.From a 180 change in environment to the looming end to this mock vacation, I don't know what's going on anymore.

It's been great though! Cohost is gone and I made this website which feels like a natural development of my growing interest in the indie web. I want to get better at front-end web development because it aligns with my professional goals and values, and I wanted to create a space to share my creative hobbies.